The Loneliness of the long distance Mature Student

My first seminar this morning was a fantastic example of what life can be like at university for a mature student.

I arrived early, as usual, and settled myself down for the traditional long wait for anyone else to turn up. (Do not fear for me Gentle Reader, I didn’t waste the time as I feel constitutionally unwilling to piss my life away) An 09:00 start being a bit too much for most of the regular students. Poor little dears. I wonder what they’ll think of actually working a full day if/when they graduate and manage to get a job?

 

So by about ten minutes to the hour one other student had arrived. The rest of those who could be bothered trickled in over the course of about fifteen minutes. The fact that some were tardy is not exactly rare and hardly worthy of comment. But what is worth comment is what they did once they came into the room and espied the evil countenance of the being known as Mike the Terror of Student Kind.

 

Yes, I was sat down on one side of the room and was easily visible to the approaching students. One look at my frightening visage was enough to drive them away. Hiding their faces from my glowing red eyes, freshly polished horns and steaming anus. As each of the quivering creatures entered my realm they scuttled like fleeing crabs and took a seat as far from me as they could.

 

I found this most amusing and not at all surprising. Wasn’t it Alison Cheeseman, she of the exquisite Scottish accent and piercing wit, who christened me “The Lone Ranger” in my first year? (That was because I have this habit of sitting at the front in lectures and answering questions. I like doing that but it has earned me the response “Shut up you, I know you know the answer” a fair few times).

 

I am left wondering what would happen if I turned up late and tried to sit amongst the student throng? Perhaps they’d all get up and pointedly move to other seats? Maybe they’d pelt me with rotting fruit and the gizzards of freshly slaughtered first years? Or, just maybe, they’d throw themselves to the floor like craven dogs. Fearful of the Wrath of Mike the Mighty Mature Student.

 

Probably not.

The Carpet Inspectors

As a mature student (42 years old) I remember that those who were lucky enough to go to university were seen as the crème de la crème. It was explained to us at a school lecture (Kingsmead Secondary Modern, Enfield, London or Middlesex if you’re a pedant). We were assembled for a talk about our academic and working futures. There it was explained that the top 20% of us would be good enough to take O Level exams. That the top 10% of us would be good enough to take A Level exams and that only the top 5% of us would go onto university or polytechnic. It was also stressed that marking for O and A Levels was very much based on the quality of the students taking those exams. So if our year was blessed with lots of smart people who got higher marks than normal then the bar would be raised for each of the passing grades. That meant that, for example, only the very best stood a chance of gaining an A grade. Perhaps this was a trifle unfair but it ensured quality levels were maintained.

I think it is a distinct pity that this is not the case today.

I have been attending the University of Lincoln since last September. Some of my fellow students have impressed me. “Some” should actually be translated into “very few”. Many of my fellow students don’t appear to want to be at university at all. They show little enthusiasm for their work and many think attending lectures and seminars is purely voluntary. Some of my lectures are attracting a paltry 50% attendance rate. When students do attend lectures and seminars it’s pretty obvious that it’s purely on sufferance.

In some lectures the vast majority seem more concerned with their own conversations than the efforts of the lecturer to teach. At times it sounds like a meeting of baboons rather than an undergraduate lecture. Remember that I’m not talking about 11 year olds here but supposedly intelligent undergraduates. The fact that many of these students “hide” at the back of the lecture theatres is also indicative of their desire to avoid the discomfort of learning.

Seminars, for those who don’t know, are sessions where the students can interact together and with their seminar tutor. It’s a chance to exchange ideas, put forth opinions and explore the subject together. A great learning opportunity. Except it often isn’t. What you actually get is “Carpet Inspectors”. Students who, when presented with a chance to answer a question or put forward an opinion, become experts in gazing downward at the carpet. We are also meant to prepare for our seminars. Reading set texts, doing a bit of research or even answering questions. The evidence to date is that many of my peers never do this. Probably it gets in the way of their so important social lives!

All this seems insane to me. Here they are at university. Getting into debt, investing their precious time and for what? The chance to get drunk, have sex and what else? Because, for many of my fellow students, learning isn’t on the curriculum. The fact they are being offered fantastic learning opportunities just passes them by without impinging on their little worlds.

Don’t think that the Lecturers and Tutors aren’t aware of the situation concerning attendance, attitude and commitment. Those who I have spoken to are as unimpressed with my peers as I am. I fear that this is all a result of Tony Blair’s dream of driving up the numbers of people who hold degrees. This foolish idea isn’t just driving up the numbers attending university. It’s also driving down the quality as well.

PS. I am, unfortunately, in a group project for my Advertising unit. My fellow team members don’t exactly impress me. One of my fellow team members has managed to get some research to me and it’s only a whole week late. Fantastic (sic). I couldn’t wait and have already done the work myself.

PPS. I’m glad I’m not a parent of one of these “students”. I’d be livid to think that drinking, fun, sex etc are pushing education into fourth or fifth spot. What a waste of someone’s money!

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