Students Beware!

Well the new academic year beckons. I know that because my third year induction letter, yes a physical letter (are we living in some sort of time warp here?), landed on my door mat the other day with a particularly doom laden thud.

The letter sparked off a couple of thoughts.

The first thought was whether I'd be dumped on by the University Admin department again. My first two years were characterised by a timetable apparently created by a baboon suffering a case of cerebral termites. Or by someone who thought it was fun to make a mature student commute into Lincoln five days a week, three of those days for just a single session. That's about three hours of travelling for, at times, 29 minutes of education. And no, I didn't like it either as it wasted both my precious time and my limited travel budget.

My second thought was that as the new academic year begins there is only one certainty. That the students flowing into the University of Lincoln, and all the other universities that litter the UK like bloated leeches, are seen as little more than cash cows.

Students as cash cows? Yes. You are a source of income for the universities and the businesses that cluster around them like parasites. The bars, the shops, cafeterias, takeaways and nightclubs all see you as walking cash machines. All of them desperate to split you away from your cash. Depending on your gullibility to line their pockets at your expense.

As long as you've got an inexhaustible supply of cash, and I envy you if you have, then this state of affairs shouldn't cause you any sleepless nights. For the rest of you, I've got some advice that’s worth heeding.

1. If coffee is your thing then make your own up every morning and bring it into uni in a thermos flask. Enjoy your favourite coffee hit for pennies instead of pounds.

2. Avoid buying meals from cafeterias and takeaways. Reacquaint yourself with the good old lunch box. Bring in your own food. From my experience the food will not just be better tasting but also a fraction of the price.

3. Avoid the tech temptations. Yes, a new laptop looks the dog's cojones. Yes, it's nice to swan around with the latest smartphone or tablet computer but do you actually need it? Or if you do need that gadget can you get something cheaper? A top tip for tech temptations is to look at last year's offerings. They're usually just as good and a fraction of the price being charged for the latest gadget. You pay a premium for being a first adopter, or should that be gullible sucker?

4. Don't print anything unless you really have to. Paper and printing cost money so find alternatives. Why not PDF instead? There are plenty of free opensource applications that can be used to create PDFs straight from most applications. Store the information, don't print it! (Just remember to back up everything, as I expect you do all the time).

5. Don't let peer pressure influence you into doing anything, or buying anything, you don't need or want. Remember, it's not what you've got but what you can do with it that counts. This world is full of tackle tarts. People who are fixated on things instead of results. Follow their lead and you're guaranteed to waste your precious funds on pointless tat.

6. If possible, get a job. It might not pay you a fortune but it will bring in an income. It will also give you some experience of the world of work. A place that is totally alien to the academic world. You get something on your CV to prove that you can actually handle a job and you’ll learn the value of money. Money earned through your own efforts, sweat and tears. A lesson that is beyond price.

To survive student life with the smallest pile of debt possible you need to adopt a miserly attitude to money. Don't waste it. Don't say “keep the change” when buying a sausage roll from the local baker (and they do that up here in sleepy Epworth). No, hoard your cash instead. Guard against those who want to live off you. Sucking the very life out of you and the money out of your pockets.