My first seminar this morning was a fantastic example of what life can be like at university for a mature student.
I arrived early, as usual, and settled myself down for the traditional long wait for anyone else to turn up. (Do not fear for me Gentle Reader, I didn’t waste the time as I feel constitutionally unwilling to piss my life away) An 09:00 start being a bit too much for most of the regular students. Poor little dears. I wonder what they’ll think of actually working a full day if/when they graduate and manage to get a job?
So by about ten minutes to the hour one other student had arrived. The rest of those who could be bothered trickled in over the course of about fifteen minutes. The fact that some were tardy is not exactly rare and hardly worthy of comment. But what is worth comment is what they did once they came into the room and espied the evil countenance of the being known as Mike the Terror of Student Kind.
Yes, I was sat down on one side of the room and was easily visible to the approaching students. One look at my frightening visage was enough to drive them away. Hiding their faces from my glowing red eyes, freshly polished horns and steaming anus. As each of the quivering creatures entered my realm they scuttled like fleeing crabs and took a seat as far from me as they could.
I found this most amusing and not at all surprising. Wasn’t it Alison Cheeseman, she of the exquisite Scottish accent and piercing wit, who christened me “The Lone Ranger” in my first year? (That was because I have this habit of sitting at the front in lectures and answering questions. I like doing that but it has earned me the response “Shut up you, I know you know the answer” a fair few times).
I am left wondering what would happen if I turned up late and tried to sit amongst the student throng? Perhaps they’d all get up and pointedly move to other seats? Maybe they’d pelt me with rotting fruit and the gizzards of freshly slaughtered first years? Or, just maybe, they’d throw themselves to the floor like craven dogs. Fearful of the Wrath of Mike the Mighty Mature Student.
Probably not.
Maybe, if you tried making an effort instead of coming across as a pretentious ass who acts like he knows everything and looks down on the rest of the student population? You'd get an invite to an event? You'd get a smile.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you should consider not blogging about your 'fellow' students, that you're looking for some form of 'friendship' from, in such a derrogatory manner? Commenting on their courses as though you're already a master of the marketing art?
I think I speak on behalf of the lot of us when I say your age has nothing to do with your loneliness.
Wez
After reading your blogs, and being a mature student myself... I find you to be somewhat closed minded!! As you stated that you are 'unwilling to piss your life away', one must also take into account the age gap and the fact they don't have full time jobs, therefore should allow themselves the enjoyment and the social life that comes with university, before having the metaphorical ball and chain that a full time job places upon you!
ReplyDeletei thankyou very much for that comment for a fellow mature student clearly he sees the light an the end of every tunnel....uni is fun and im having the time of my life before i have to get a full time job and to be honest its whats in my best interest not yours! your not my dad so why do you can so much about what degree im doing it does not affect you in any way shape or form you id prefer it if you kept your opinions to yourself rather than blast them all over a blog which basically degrades and slates the younger generation whoculd probably teach you a think or two!
ReplyDelete"Mike the Terror of Student Kind", "Mike the Mighty Mature Student"...
ReplyDeletecan i add, "Mike the Cock".
You really do write awful blogs, and i know you're the kind of twat who likes to be hated, so this is probably wasted, but stop and take a look at yourself, there's absolutely no-one saying you're anywhere close to being right.
sad bastad
ReplyDelete