In a very short while all of us, in our final year of university, will be forced to face up to the fraught process called “job hunting”.
For the best part of three years we have all been languishing in the bosom of academia. Not concerned with the cruel and heartless world of commerce. Not worried about having to impress the boss each and every day. No, for most part my peers have been more interested in having a good time. But this time of lotus gathering is fast approaching its end and with it comes an entirely new set of priorities.
Firstly, there's the issue of appearance. Yes, how you look is going to have a major bearing on what you'll be doing a year from now. Unless you get “tricked” into signing on for another year of study to get an MA or MSC for which you'll pay handsomely but might find the return on investment rather dubious to say the least (I, personally, think that nobody should be allowed to go straight from a BA/BSc to an MA/MSc without a few years experience in the real world. It smacks of desperation on the part of academic institutions who seek to increase the numbers of bums on seats in these times of higher tuition fees). So, your appearance.
First things first, face furniture. During the last few years you may well have picked up a variety of exciting and unique piercings. If they are out of sight then they're no problem. If they're gracing the pock marked expanse of skin that you call your face then “Houston, we have a problem!” I'm not referring to earrings or even a discrete nose stud. I'm referring to eyebrow piercings, nose rings, lip chandeliers and the like. They don't make a very good impression unless you're applying for a job in a hippy commune or want to work in a piercing parlour. My advice is to take the metal stuff out of your face now and give the holes a chance to heal up. There's nothing as unnerving as interviewing someone who looks like an ambulatory pin cushion.
Tattoos, sometimes known as tramp stamps, are okay if you're looking for a role in a travelling circus or working as a “heavy” in a low budget British crime drama but not if you're looking for a career that'll pay you a real salary. I'm not talking about a discrete tattoo on an ankle or a buttock. I'm talking about tattoos that grace your face or your hands. They may make you look “unique” and “interesting” but they don't do it for corporates who want you to be representing them out there in the real world where appearances ARE important. If you have already besmirched your face with the tattooists needle then look into methods of camouflaging it or having it removed.
Men, and I use that term very loosely indeed, have you considered the advantages of shaving? Why not take this opportunity to learn the art of the daily shave? Banish the face fuzz to the waste bin of history and embrace the advantages of the clean shaven look. Also, have you considered getting a decent haircut? One that doesn't leave you looking like a refugee from a sheep shearing parlour?
Get a suit, a selection of plain shirts, a couple of ties and a good pair of black leather shoes. The equivalent for the ladies. When you walk in for an interview you want the interviewers to think of you as professional, smartly dressed and having made an effort. Turning up dressed as a tramp, smelling of last night's sick and sporting a black eye is not going to help your cause.
Right, interviews. First thing to remember is that you're there to sell yourself. Forget any politically right on ideas of “sticking it to the man” or thinking “everyone is equal and deserves equal treatment”. It's all a pile of moose droppings. What the interviewer wants is a warm body that can do the job, will turn up on time, knows how to behave in a working environment and won't be a right royal pain in the arse. You have to show you can fit in, match the culture of the employer and be ready to be exploited like a crack addicted whore working the streets around Kings Cross. That's what a job is, you exchange your soul for money. If you're lucky enough to get a job, especially in a field you want to work in, then I'd advise you to exhibit some deep gratitude because you'll be amongst the lucky few!
Oh, and before an interview it's a very good idea to do some research into the potential employer. Dig out the simple stuff that shows you have taken a real interest in their business. What do they do? Who are their customers? What threats and opportunities do they face? Showing a genuine interest won't do you any harm.
Feedback from employment interviews. Okay, welcome to reality. The UK, being a litigious country full of lawyers looking for work, is not the place to get real, useful and honest feedback. You cannot blame employers. Legal actions are expensive at the best of times (i.e. when you settle out of court). So if you don't get that job and you get a letter or email (or usually nothing at all but more on that later) don't expect to get anything other than a vanilla style no thank you. You might want to know why you didn't get that exciting job with the company car and top salary but they won't really tell you the truth.
Communications and the job hunt. I don't know why it is but many times during your job hunting quest you'll get no response at all to an application. Many agencies and companies now clearly state that if you don't hear from them by a certain date then you've been unsuccessful. Don't take it personally. In my opinion there are two reasons for this. One, the recruiters are too busy to be bothered with the simple task of sending out a “no thank you”. Two, the recruiters want you to feel like a soiled rag used for wiping down the urinals at a dodgy public toilet in the vicinity of Mayfair.
Looking for a job, normally, can be a difficult task. During the current economic crisis that difficult task can seem impossible. There will be plenty of people who'll just give up. That's their choice. My advice to you is to remember the advice of Sir Winston Churchill: “If you're going through hell, keep going!”
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